Keeping It Real: Body Dysmorphia
What we dive into in this episode:
Skinny Body Curvy Body…In today’s world where image is everything, what do you do when you look in the mirror and say “I hate my body”? This week, Haley and Noel share their own testimonies about weight and negative feelings about their bodies. Leading listeners through seven practical steps, they challenge us to confront negative self-talk and reclaim the body that God fearfully and wonderfully made.
Today on Revive Her:
- Understanding body image and body dysmorphia
- Recognizing the signs of negative body image (Skinny Body Curvy Body, it doesn’t matter)
- Practical advice for overcoming body image
- Focusing on your inner beauty
- Loving your body in every season of life
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Noel’s Story with Eating Disorders and Weight Loss
In high school, I was always super thin. I even had a six-pack when I graduated. I was a pageant girl, but I would never recommend it. It’s a constant reminder that our body needs to be perfect. I would starve myself to look a certain way to fit into my lifestyle and struggle with eating disorders. When I graduated high school I was 120 pounds, but as life happened I started gaining weight rapidly. I didn’t even recognize myself anymore in this new curvy body.
Once I met Drew, the love bug bit me and I gained 100 pounds, and then I got pregnant and gained even more. When I got pregnant the second time, I gained 65 pounds. It was difficult for me to lose weight without starving myself. I realized that when I have control of my health I have control of my life. Not obsessively, but when I’m exercising and eating healthy it’s so much easier for me to control everything else.
I still compare myself to that 16-year-old girl. Even today, at 32, I can easily fall back into it by counting calories, over-exercising, or not eating. Through this season of my life, I have to remind myself that people are never going to remember me for how I look or how much I weigh, they remember how I make them feel. It’s still a struggle, as a person who works on social media to not compare myself. Something my husband tells me is that I look real, from my body to my story to the impact I’m making on other women. It’s all real and raw.
It’s so easy to not walk in your calling and purpose because you’re caught up in how much you weigh. But you have to remember that it’s not about how you look, it’s how you make others feel. The grass is greener where you water it, so remember to water the positive thoughts about your body and not the negative. It’s a constant battle, and I get it. You’re not alone.
Haley’s Story with a Skinny Body Type
All throughout my life, I’ve been so skinny. In high school, people started to comment on how skinny I was. Later on in college, more and more people would always comment on how skinny I was, asking things like “Do you even eat? You need to eat a cheeseburger!” The more attention that was drawn to my body and how skinny I was, the more I noticed that skinny started to become my identity. I started to feel proud and happy that I was skinny because I would get compliments about my weight. When I was traveling abroad, I visited a bread shop called “Bread Talk” almost every day because I was sick of eating curry.
By the end of staying there, I weighed myself and I was 112 pounds and it was the heaviest I’ve ever been. I remember looking in the mirror, holding my stomach, and bawling because I thought I was fat. As psychotic as it sounds, because 112 is not fat, at the time my identity was “You’re so skinny”. I got home and started to not eat.
Fast forward to 30 and now I fluctuate with my weight and I still struggle with feeling like I’m fat because my identity was wrapped up in the comments of being skinny. By doctor’s and dietitian’s standards, I’m finally at a healthy weight and not struggling with being underweight, but I still struggle with feeling as though I look fat. I’m embarrassed to say it because logically I know that I’m not overweight, but when I look in the mirror it feels as though I am.
God’s Perspective on Body Image
Whether you have a curvy body type or skinny body type doesn’t matter to God. The Bible emphasizes the importance of inner beauty over external appearance.
One key passage is 1 Samuel 16:7, which states, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.'” This verse underscores that God’s perspective values the internal qualities of a person more than their physical attributes.
Psalm 139:14 is a powerful affirmation of God’s creation: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
God intentionally created each person with care and intricacy.
Challenge Distorted Thoughts
When negative thoughts or behaviors arise, challenge and reframe them. Consider the evidence that contradicts distorted beliefs and behaviors about your body. Keep a journal to track and challenge these thoughts. Try to distinguish which behavior would most likely have a positive influence on body image.
How to Love My Body:
- Detox from social media. Take time off from socials. Days or weeks could give you the space and mental clarity you need to reset your self-image.
- Create multiple lists of the top things you like about yourself.
- Surround yourself with loving, positive people — in real life and online.
- For several days, jot down the negative things you say or think about your body, then rewrite those messages in a more self-respecting way.
- Redefine beauty in a less superficial way.
- Take your own comfort into consideration when choosing clothes.
- Explore activities that allow you to discover how your body works and what it can really do.
Treatments for Body Dysmorphic Disorder
There are specific treatments Mayo Clinic states that can help with the symptoms of BDD. If you’re struggling with BDD, please reach out to your healthcare provider. Treatments may include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
- Medications
- Hospitalization
- Lifestyle and Home Remedies: stick to your treatment plan from your healthcare provider, learn about your disorder, pay attention to warning signs, practice learned strategies
- Coping and Support: journaling, community building, taking care of yourself, joining a support group, focusing on you, learning relaxation and stress management, not making hasty decisions
FAQs – For My Girlies Who Skim
What is body image?
Body image is the way you think or feel about your body and can be positive or negative depending on different seasons throughout your life. Everyone feels differently about their body, especially when they may be undergoing significant changes like during illness or pregnancy and birth.
What is body dysmorphia?
Body dysmorphia is obsessively thinking negative thoughts about one’s physical appearance. People who develop BDD may become intensely preoccupied with flaws or defects that are not seen by others.
Do I have body dysmorphia?
If you think you may have body dysmorphia you can take the test here. Make sure to reach out to your healthcare provider. There are treatments available for you to help manage your symptoms.
What does God think about our bodies?
God intentionally created each person with care and intricacy. He focuses on the inner beauty of His people rather than the outer beauty that man focuses on.
Are you struggling with suicidal thoughts due to body dysmorphia?
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, a prevention hotline can help. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day at 988. During a crisis, people who are hard of hearing can use their preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988.
