Redefining Success
Whether you work a nine-to-five, are a homemaker, or are a busy entrepreneur, success looks different for everyone. This week, Haley and Noel show us that living a slow life is just as meaningful as living in the hustle culture. They challenge us to set aside comparison, find our purpose, and live confidently in the successful life God has for each of us.
What we dive into in this episode:
- Defining success for yourself
- Discerning your season of life
- Setting comparison aside
- Running your own race
- Discovering what fills your cup
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What is Success?
We can define success as the accomplishment of an aim or a purpose. The hardest part about defining success is that it is so subjective. Success varies depending on your own aim or purpose and everyone’s purpose is so very different. So let’s dig in and figure out how we get other people’s ideas of success out of our heads and then focus on what our version of success is! The most important question to ask is how do you define success?
Societal Pressure – The Standards for Success
When we think of success, we often go to massive mansions, celebrities, power, and money. Having the next, best, newest item is the type of success that’s plastered all over billboards, TV screens, and social media. And sure, to some people, this is their success meter, but to us normal guys – this doesn’t have to be the type of success that we strive for. Whether you’re a homemaker, working a 9 to 5, or unemployed, success is going to look different for everyone in different seasons of their lives.
Shifting Your Mindset – Fear of Success
When redefining success for yourself, it can be helpful to shift your mindset and perspective. Perhaps your idea of success looked like a big following, lots of money, or adoring fans – but if we could offer you any advice we would say not to set out for those things. Instead, set out to have an impact on your community, be more connected to Christ, and to bring people into God’s Kingdom. These are the things that ultimately matter not just in this world but into eternity.
When we are able to shift our mindset onto eternity it can give us a clearer, more heavenly perspective.
Success is not always about leveling up. We usually think when we hit milestones in our business that we’re going to feel better but often it just feels like what’s next? The material gifts of this world will never be enough to satiate the desire we all have to do a good job. Instead, we should focus on succeeding at the work that will last into eternity.
Sometimes, however, leveling up isn’t our goal, it’s our fear. Whenever we level up, we have to say goodbye to certain luxuries, our old selves, friends, and even family. We can’t always carry everything or everyone from our old season into our new season, and that can be daunting. If you’re suffering from success by losing friends, and family, or struggling to transition to the new you, you’re not alone! This is a common reason why many people stick to the waterfalls they’re used to. But if you’re surrounding yourself with people who never want you to succeed, it might be time to let them go so that you can surround yourself with those who want you to be your best self. Your purpose is too important to allow others or yourself to drag you down with them or keep you stagnate.
Comparison
Comparison is the thief of joy and it will blind you from what is successful for you. When we allow people to make decisions about what success looks like for you, you’ll get the success that may not make you happy. Make sure you’re asking yourself what makes you happy. Not your best friend, that influencer, or the mom you adore. What does success look like to you and are you reaching that version of success?
One comparison that’s so common surrounds “mom guilt.” Mom guilt so often comes from looking at what other moms are doing and thinking we need to do that exact thing. Whether that’s homeschooling, working remotely, or bringing in more money, we as moms can feel as though we’re doing something “wrong” when it comes to parenting. This idea, although normal, is wrong! Your kids need you to be their mom – not Karen from next door. That means that your gifts and your version of success is going to be important for them to see. Make sure you’re living your version of success so that your kids can see you living out the best version of yourself.
Identity Is Your Key to Success
Knowing our true identity is what keeps us from falling off the straight and narrow road. When we know who we are and WHOSE we are, we can clearly see where our value truly comes from. I’ll give you a hint, our value’s not found in followers or how hard we’re hustling.
Our real value is found in stewarding whatever God calls us to.
It’s easy to allow people to put us on a pedestal, but we must make sure we make a conscious effort to jump off because being known and well-liked isn’t what we are called to. God has given us resources and tools to walk into our calling on our life. Those tools look different for everyone. Sometimes those tools do look like followers, but sometimes they look like a sourdough starter.
Sometimes those tools look different in different seasons of your life. Sometimes we have a season where more people are going to see us and we’re working a ton. But then there are also seasons where God hides us and we have to slow down and rest. Both seasons have a time and place and are blessings from the Lord that we are called to steward well.
Seasons
Just like our weather, we all experience seasons like fall, winter, spring, and summer. There’s a time for every season. There’s time for death and grief, rest, rebirth, and work. Each season can be a different kind of success in its own way.
All seasons can be successful, even when there’s no “work” being done.
Sometimes during a resting season, it can feel as though you’re not accomplishing anything, but sometimes it’s that season of rest that spurs you into the next season. You may need that season of crushing for new wine to pour out of you. You really never know what God has in store for you. Don’t despise seasons of rest, because God always has a plan for each season of life you’re in.
Questions to Ask Yourself
We’ve laid out some questions you’ll want to ask yourself to redefine success in your life:
What is success to you?
Write down all your thoughts about success and what that means to you. No judgment here. This is just a straight list of what success looks like to you – no right or wrong answers!
What’s your why?
When trying to figure out what success looks like to you, it’s helpful to first outline your goals. You want to make sure that your why isn’t based on a false sense of success to yourself. Your why shouldn’t be based on money or material things. Your why should be based upon the overall purpose for your life
Are you living out your desired goal?
Maybe you are hitting or living out every desired goal you have! That’s awesome – check those boxes, girl!
If not, what would you have to do to get this type of success and do you really want to do that?
Sometimes we think we want the type of success that others have, but the work to get there is just not something we want to do. That’s ok! It’s healthy to realize the work that goes into every person’s successful life and prioritize what we want out of our own lives.
FAQs For My Girlies Who Skim
How do I redefine success?
Look at your life. Define success for yourself. What is success to you? Are you living it? And if not, what steps are you willing to take to get there?
How do I not compare myself to others?
Realize that you have to run your own race. Stay in your own lane. Remind yourself that God has called you to do a good work that no one else can do.
How do I know what season of life I’m in?
You have to get still enough to hear God. Whatever season you’re in, if it’s from God you’re going to see fruit. So make sure you’re checking to see if there are still fruits of the spirit in your life. If so – you’re probably in the right season for you! The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. If you’re bearing these types of fruit in your season, then it’s safe to say your season is from the Lord and there’s something He wants to show you here.
